Art can be anything, even if you’re just putting words on a canvas. That’s what I’ve been doing lately. I’ve taken my favorite motivational and inspirational quotes and put them on a painted canvas using my handy dandy paint pens. Take a look! Sorry they’re hard to read, but if you can read any of them, what do you think?
What is your favorite quote or quotes?
I never imagined I’d write a post about this, but I’m having a lot of feelings over something I just did. So I’m going to blog about it, because that’s what I do
I told my orchestra teachers that I’m not continuing with orchestra. If you had told me a year ago that I’d soon be leaving orchestra after playing for 7 years, I’d tell you off in some way or another. I loved orchestra and couldn’t wait to be in the high school orchestra. But then I got there, and it was less than fun. I don’t want to sound like someone who backs out when the going gets tough, but it was a lot of work for me. We’re required to be in a sort of extra curricular orchestra that meets after school once a week from about 7 pm to 9:30 pm. I also have to schlep a bass around, which is bigger than me. I actually am gonna kind of miss that, I enjoyed all the odd looks I got from strangers Then there’s the fact that during the school day, rehearsals were an hour and a half long (but every other day). That, I could really not stand. I also just wasn’t having fun or enjoying the music. So therefore, I had zero motivation to practice, so I wasn’t giving it my all. That’s not fair to the rest of the orchestra. So I combined all these reasons, plus the overhanging dread I felt about being in orchestra again next year, and switched out with a guidance counselor (not my regular one) who was working at the summer school office.
This was all about a month ago though. Why am I waiting until now to share it? Why are the feelings coming up now? Because I just e-mailed my orchestra teachers to tell them. This brings up a lot of embarrassment and general negativity. I don’t mean to brag, but I was pretty good and so were the other bass players who are still in the orchestra, and the orchestra teachers were planning to feature the bass section this upcoming year. I feel like I let them down by not being there to help out. I also just feel like a flat out wuss for dropping out.
But there’s no going back now, I’d be unhappy doing that anyways. There’s just a lot of mixed emotions in my head, and I thank you all for letting me vent them here. I really needed to get this out.
Now… a little legs/knees update:
Yesterday I tried biking again because the personal trainer I’m working with suggested it. I also walked my dogs… in flip flops. Probably not the smartest choice. One or both of these, probably the later, has left me with a really sharp pain in the left side of my right knee whenever I walk. Not fun. I’m gonna try biking again though, because my knees felt fine after I was done with the biking, which was earlier in the day. It was later in the day that the pain started. We also got a heart rate monitor so I can stay within a specific zone for working out. For some reason, it’s kind of fun to use!
Thanks again for listening to me, it really means a lot to me.
Hi everyone, sorry it’s been so long… again. I guess I really don’t have much to say, or at least that I really want to say. However, the main event in my life that’s been happening lately has been trying to heal my legs. First I thought it was shin splints, but then I did a little more research and learned that where shin splints usually are isn’t where my pain is. So I went to see a personal trainer exercise coach person, and they said I probably have an overuse injury in my tibialis anterior, which is responsible for the motion of moving your toes up and towards your body, and according to her, “this happens rapidly when running, so if you just jumped into running, you probably overused that muscle, resulting in inflammation.” Fun stuff, eh?
But the pain started over a month ago, and about three weeks ago, I started biking instead of running. This past week, I haven’t done any exercise. It’s kind of driving me crazy, but I have no motivation to get back going into anything but running, so I guess I’ll just have to let my leg rest. It’s probably best for it anyways. So I’ve talked to my mom and my psychologist and we’ve had a couple of things done to help heal my leg, because it wasn’t healing on it’s own. One was meeting with that personal trainer to see if she had any suggestions. She gave me some exercises to strengthen my tibialis anterior, and stretch my calf, which should help. She also suggested icing my leg, which has helped a lot. I was using a heating pad before, but it wasn’t really doing much. Icing feels so good, especially with how hot it is outside.
Another thing I did was acupuncture. It was kind of cool and very relaxing, except for the fact that I really was itchy and couldn’t move very much, and I hated the anticipation of getting needles stuck in me. But overall, it was helpful, and I have another appointment on Wednesday. Of course, being me, the first thing I did when the acupuncturist left the room was to take my phone out of my pocket and snap a picture. This wasn’t easy, because I had needles all up my arm, but I was determined!
Pretty good pictures for a phone, huh?
So that’s what’s been going on in my life this past week. In other words, not much has really happened. I did get an engraving pen from Michaels Craft Store for my jewelry making. Some time I’ll have to do a post and show everyone what I’ve made so far.
What do you do to heal sports injuries? What do you prefer, icing or heating?
Sorry I’ve kind of stopped blogging for a little bit. I’ve been having a very rough week. I know this title sounds cliche but it really describes how I feel right now. So this post is going to be
a little bit very negative.
About a week ago, I had four days of following my meal plan, being able to exercise, and calling my OA sponsor if I needed to talk to someone about pretty much anything. Then something happened, I can’t quite remember, and I started over eating (by a lot) last Wednesday night. Yikes, it’s almost been a week of that. Like I’ve said before, once I start with the binging/overeating, it’s really hard to get back on track following my meal plan. I feel just awful. The jeans I bought last week are really tight now and I’m not looking forward to my dietitian appointment tomorrow. This negativeness is also caused in part by the fact that my knee is getting worse, and I have no clue what’s wrong with it. I can’t do any form of exercise, even walking hurts. I feel so out of shape and just generally awful. The negative thoughts are running wild in my brain.
On the bright side, my mom is starting to recognize the signs that mean I’m in a binge phase and learning what to do in certain situations. I know I shouldn’t have to depend on her, but she does want to help. She’s learning what my trigger foods for binges are, what to say if I was to ask for them, and what not to say to me about food because it could really set me off. I’m very grateful that she’s learning and open to helping me. As much as I want to say “gosh, it’s about time!” I don’t know what I would do without her sometimes.
So today, I’m vowing to get back on track with my meal plan and become abstinent from the over eating. Even if that means having to give up certain foods because I can’t seem to eat them in normal quantities/portions, that’s what I have to do. I will follow my meal plan. I will journal. I will call my sponsor if I’m having trouble. I will structure my time so I’m not bored. I will use the new polishing station I got for my jewelry making! Yay shiny stuff!
What self improvement task(s) are you working on right now?
Have a good day everyone, thanks for reading
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’m having a bad couple of days involving using excess food to stuff my emotions. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s anxiety for school to start, but I don’t think so. I don’t always enjoy school, but I’m excited for this year. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I haven’t done too much this summer and I want the structure that school brings. Maybe I’m actually excited to see people (gasp here because I’m not a social person usually). Maybe it’s because I’m entering double digit grades and getting that much closer to college and graduate school, and then becoming a psychologist. I don’t know. I love summer and sleeping in, but I’m also looking forward to school starting.
2/3 A: Precalc/Trig 163
4/5 A: French Honors, 373
6/7 A: Marketing 161 with 2nd lunch, which is great because it’s right in the middle of a block so there’s hardly anyone there.
8/9 A: Chemistry Honors, 173
2/3 B: English Honors 273 with V. Fraser, who I’ve heard some not so nice things about, but I’m gonna give him/her the benefit of the doubt. Not to brag, I know how to get teachers to like me
4/5 B: Health 161
6/7 B: Free period/sophomore advocacy with 2nd lunch again!
8/9 B is Brain Studies, which I’m really looking forward to!
*This is only for the first semester though. I’ll post my second semester schedule when I get it, closer to second semester.
**Now you may be wondering about this A day B day thing. Well, how it goes in my school is that we have 4 classes (and lunch, don’t worry) every other day, 4 classes on A days and the other 4 on B days. Each class is 90 minutes long though. It can be tough at some times.
Now here’s some pictures of the massive amount of books I need for A days, and the tiny amount I need for B days.
If you’re still in school/college/grad school, what are you taking this year?
If you’ve graduated, what are your plans for once the summer’s over?
Have you ever been really annoyed by something at one moment, and later, when remembering it, realized how petty it was? I do that a lot, probably because I get annoyed by a lot of things. So here are some of the petty things that annoy me before/during/after a workout. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful I can work out, but I find I get annoyed very easily by the little things. Can you relate to any of them?
Petty Annoyance #1: My hair gets all tangled and sweaty after a run.
Whenever I run, I tie my hair up in a high pony tail. Hopefully, I though, it’ll get less sweaty if it’s not constantly brushing up against the back of my neck and my back, and the ponytail will keep it from getting tangled. Silly me, it still gets drenched and tangled. Is there any way to prevent this? I guess I’ll just need to get good at brushing the tangles out and not just pulling them out.
Petty annoyance #2: My nose runs like a faucet.
Does anyone else have this problem? I asked around in my gym class at school this past year, and I seem to be the only one. Whenever I work out, my nose runs like a faucet. It’s great and all when I have a cold because it clears up my sinuses, but it can get really annoying having to carry around a pack of tissues or a paper towel to blow my nose when I’m running or biking. I really have no clue what to do about this, other than just accept it and bring tissues with. I find it petty though because needing to blow your nose is something humans do on a regular basis, but every five minutes or so is a bit excessive to me.
Petty annoyance #3: I sweat the most after I’m done running, and it just keeps coming back.
For some reason, this really annoys me. I want the sweat to come while I’m running and my body motion can help it dry, not after when I’m standing still and stretching, when it just starts pouring off me. It’s so annoying, and I have to towel off multiple times. But when I reflect on this, I can’t help but think “DUH!” because sweating is what happens when you exercise, so it’s totally to be expected.
Maybe not so petty annoyance #4: My knees always hurt after a run.
I used to think that I just had shin splints, so I’ve taken some time off running, but when I started up again doing a combo of running and walking for only like a half an hour, my knees really hurt afterwards. So I’ve been biking lately, but it’s really starting to get to me. Is there something wrong with my knees? Why does this keep happening? Is my form okay? Do I have too hard of an impact in my stride? What am I doing wrong? Luckily, my mom is taking me to an exercise trainer/coach so I can work on my running and make sure I’m doing it right, as well as find any problems. I’m looking forward to it!
Can you relate to any of these?
What annoys you when you work out, petty or not?
Thanks for reading and have a great day everyone
Even though there are bad things that happen in life, there is always something good to follow along. Even though the past couple weeks I have not been abstinent from my overeating behaviors, gained 8 lbs, felt my shin splints coming back, and I’ve been a wreck of emotions over not being in orchestra anymore, I feel that it’s really important to acknowledge the good that has happened this past week.
The Good: I was nominated for a blog award!
The Liebster blog award I was nominated for was the first blog award I’ve ever received. I was very excited, happy, grateful, and shocked all at the same time. It really made my day.
The Good: I got a free copy of Voices of Recovery the book!
I had been wanting this book for such a long time! We read the daily excerpt from it during each weekly OA meeting, and I just love it more and more each time I read it. When I got to the meeting on Saturday, one of the ladies handed it to me, as a gift! I’m very grateful for such a wonderful gift and will utilize this as a tool for my recovery from my ED.
The Good: I’ve been abstinent for the past 2 days!
I haven’t engaged in any eating disorder behavior, over eating, under eating, over exercising, etc. for the past two days. I’m very proud of myself and very grateful to my higher power. I was having a tough time tonight with cravings to over eat, so I called my sponsor, and she helped me through it. This is definitely a step in the right direction. I just hope and pray that the streak continues… well forever!
The Good: I’ve made many new internet friends!
I’ve met lots of new people this past week via blogs, and I’m very happy with all the new internet friendships/acquaintances I’ve made. It makes me happy to have a growing support/friend network and to know I’m not alone in my struggles. I’m grateful for all the friends/acquaintances I’ve made because of blogging.
That’s all I can remember, but I’m sure there’s more to be thankful for. Thank you all for reading!
What are you thankful for right now?
Hi everyone! Have you ever veered off the path you were trying to stay on, and found that it was really hard to find your way back? That’s how I feel right now. On vacation, I let go of my plan and veered off the good path I was on. Now that I’m back home, I’m finding it really challenging to getting back to eating my meal plan. I’ve gone over it yesterday, and I’m already over it today. I don’t get why I can’t reach out for help and call my OA sponsor. I feel really bad, because she offered to be my sponsor, and is doing a lot of work for me, and I barely ever call her. My psychologist gave me an assignment, to write down what I eat and what I’m feeling before, during, and after. So I’ve found out I’m feeling depressed, upset, frustrated, and anxious. So I’ve journaled and tried distracting techniques, why am I still overeating though? Why can’t I say no to food? You set it in front of me, and I WILL eat it. It makes for very un-fun dietitian visits. I went yesterday and I’d gained 7 lbs. Again, why am I still overeating? I’m just frustrated that I can’t seem to get a grip on this eating disorder and start making the right choices. If it weren’t for the fact that school starts in a couple weeks, I’d ask to apply for a residential treatment facility in Wisconsin that works with Binge Eating Disorders. I’ve heard great things about it, and I think I’d get a lot out of it.
I’m just so frustrated with myself that I can’t seem to get back on track.
How do you motivate yourself to get back on track when you’ve veered off the path you want to be on?
Hi everyone! I’m back from my family vacation to Traverse City and Mackinac Island. It was just gorgeous and tons of fun. Here’s some pictures!
I also got nominated for the Liebster Blog Award by Jenna at One Day at a Time. Thank you so much, it truly means a lot to me. So I have to
- Tell 11 random things about yourself.
- Answer the questions that the person who tagged you asks and create 11 new questions for the people you tag.
- Tag 11 blogs and link them to your post.
- Contact them and let them know they have been tagged.
- I take 12 different supplements every day. Some are vitamins, other depression and anxiety meds, and others just natural supplements my psychologist likes me to take.
- I play the string bass, which is taller than me.
- I make metal jewelry, and I mainly work with copper.
- I love love love My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. It’s the best TV show ever.
- The first, and currently last and only boyfriend I ever had was in 6th grade. We went on 1 extremely awkward “date” to a school event. After that, I wrote him a letter saying it just wasn’t working out.
- I wear hand-me-downs from my cousin who is actually 9 days younger than me.
- I used to hate running, but then I decided I didn’t want to be the person lagging behind in gym class anymore, so I decided to start exercising, and now I love running.
- I have the attention span of a butterfly.
- I collect baseball caps, although not all of them have to do with baseball.
- I’m probably the most religious person in my house, although I don’t practice the same religion as the rest of my family.
- I sleep with a stuffed duck named Fluffernutters and a stuffed dog named Scottie, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
Now for Jenna’s questions
- Whats your favorite kind of ice cream/frozen yogurt? I’d have to say chocolate from basically any place. But if I had to pick a favorite, it’d be Edy’s Yogurt Blends Chocolate Fudge Brownie.
- Whats one of your favorite memories A field trip my school took when I was in fourth grade to a place in Chicago called Exchange City. Everyone in my grade got jobs, and it was a floor in a high rise basically designed to look like a mini town. There was a post office, food shop, distribution center (where I worked), radio station, newspaper, and police/justice center. It was a lot of fun.
- Surf or turf (food I mean)? Probably Turf
- Favorite summer activity? Does sleeping in count?
- Where’s the one place you want to travel to? I want to go back to Mackinac Island so badly.
- Whats your favorite movie? I love discovering new ones! Howl’s moving castle. It’s one of those anime type movies by Hayao Miyazaki
- Whats your go-to late night snack (healthy or unhealthy)? I try not to eat after dinner, because that’s the time I’m most vulnerable to binge eating, but when I did, it was chips of any kind.
- What was your favorite subject in high school? It really can depend on the teacher for me. This past year, it was Physics and Math. Not my usual two favorites, but I had great teachers and they made the classes a lot of fun.
- Dogs or cats? Dogs, I have two
- Do you think you relate to your zodiac sign? In Some aspects yes, in others, no. Scorpios aren’t supposed to like the color pink, but I don’t mind it. On the other hand, I’ve found that I can relate to a lot of my horoscopes.
- E-Readers or real books? Real books, E-Readers don’t tell you what page your on, or at least my kindle doesn’t, and that really bugs me. Also, if you go to the library, you get books for free and you really only need to read them once in my opinion. But more libraries are starting to get e-books, so that point may or may not be valid.
Now I get to nominate people. I’m sorry if I didn’t choose you, I love all the blogs I read, and I’m also sorry if you just got chosen by someone else and now have to do this again.
Kat @ Kat’s Health Corner
Haley @ Health Freak College Girl
Alex @ The Run Within
Kate @ Work in Progress
Tessa @ Amazing Asset
Lisa @ Fat Girl Running
Chelsea @ Chelsea Runs
Allison @ Live Passionately Tonight
Kate @ Watch Her Shrink
My questions for you all that I nominated:
- Why did you start blogging?
- What’s one bad habit you want to break?
- What’s your special talent?
- What was your favorite TV show from when you were younger?
- What’s your favorite inspirational/motivational quote?
- What’s your favorite shape of pasta?
- Why did you choose the college you went to/where do you want to go and why?
- Dress or nice shirt and pants?
- Favorite restaurant?
- What’s your favorite Olympic event, summer or winter?
- What’s your favorite vegetable?
Thanks so much everyone