Getting Back On Track Is Hard

Hi everyone! Have you ever veered off the path you were trying to stay on, and found that it was really hard to find your way back? That’s how I feel right now. On vacation, I let go of my plan and veered off the good path I was on. Now that I’m back home, I’m finding it really challenging to getting back to eating my meal plan. I’ve gone over it yesterday, and I’m already over it today. I don’t get why I can’t reach out for help and call my OA sponsor. I feel really bad, because she offered to be my sponsor, and is doing a lot of work for me, and I barely ever call her. My psychologist gave me an assignment, to write down what I eat and what I’m feeling before, during, and after. So I’ve found out I’m feeling depressed, upset, frustrated, and anxious. So I’ve journaled and tried distracting techniques, why am I still overeating though? Why can’t I say no to food? You set it in front of me, and I WILL eat it. It makes for very un-fun dietitian visits.  I went yesterday and I’d gained 7 lbs. Again, why am I still overeating? I’m just frustrated that I can’t seem to get a grip on this eating disorder and start making the right choices. If it weren’t for the fact that school starts in a couple weeks, I’d ask to apply for a residential treatment facility in Wisconsin that works with Binge Eating Disorders. I’ve heard great things about it, and I think I’d get a lot out of it.

I’m just so frustrated with myself that I can’t seem to get back on track.

How do you motivate yourself to get back on track when you’ve veered off the path you want to be on?

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13 Comments

  1. I know you want the quick answer or quick fix but I promise you, your body is just adjusting. It takes some time for your body to find its happy place but the worst thing to do is restrict or eat less.i promise you, it makes the process a lot longer. hang in there girl!

  2. You’ve already learned something: why you eat. That’s a step closer to full recovery than you were! It can be a long road. One step at a time.

  3. vanetua

    Boy do I feel your pain. I know exactly what you are talking about. In fact, you took the words right out of my mouth, so to speak.

    I have found that while eating when truly hungry, I am eating yto cure the hunger. But when overeating, I am eating to fill a void. In the past it was to make myself feel better, to cure low self esteem or stress or fear. These days its depression. My father died last October and I have never been the same since.

    Each time I go to the doctor (for other reasons) I too find that I have gained more weight. It’s suuch a terrible feeling. It’s hard to stick to plans too. I have focused on buying only healthy foods and less chocolate, more fruit. I also think about my own health, what might happen to me if one day I am hospitalized for obesity-related conditions such as a heart attack, stroke, cancer, or diabetes, and what those who love me would have to endure while I am sick. Sometimes it is great motivation and other times not so much.

    Take one day at a time and praise yourself like crazy for each success, no matter how small. Remember you are important to yourself and those who love you. Remember how beautiful it is to live and experience life and how fortunate you are to have two legs and the ability to move around.

    Don’t be ashamed to reach out to your sponsor and don’t feel like a burden either.

    If you want, we can suppport each other through this as well. I would love to have the support of someone who knows exactly what its like.

    hang in there.

    • Thanks for your amazing motivational words, they truly mean a lot to me 🙂

      • vanetua

        Anytime 🙂

  4. Isn’t it exciting to be learning the consequences of, as you put it, veering off the path? Thorny vines and branches are our Higher Power’s way of reminding us that our path was good while we remained on it. When we return to the path of HP’s will (not ours) the pulling, pushing, and tearing stops. The relief we experience when we do return will provide incentive not to veer again the next time we are tempted.

    Our Creator found you worth setting up those obstacles to facilitate your return. You are valuable. You are loved. And you are not alone!

    • Thank you for your amazing comment, it’s all so true. The part I struggle with is knowing what my Higher Power’s will is vs when it’s self will talking, but I’m sure it’ll become more clear in time. Thanks again! 🙂

      • I had to do a little whittling of my misconceptions, and I continuously pray for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out. It helped me to imagine the manufacturer of a precision machine (for that is what our bodies are), and a list of care procedures for best performance of that machine. Now with all the medical and nutrition experts in His employ, all I had to do was choose the things I was most willing to add to my action plan and plan of eating. I wouldn’t put mud in the gas tank of a Lamborghini. Neither should I put Twinkies in my bloodstream! God’s will can be just that obvious at times.

      • True, very true. Sometime it is very obvious, and I’m grateful for those times.

  5. I’ve always found that going back to the basics — focusing on listening to my body always works best for me. But it’s also one of the hardest things for me. I know you can do this, Jacqueline. You are strong. You can pull through. 🙂

    • It truly is hard to listen to your body, especially when certain cues it should give me are off, but I’m trying. Your support and encouragement mean a lot to me, thank you 🙂

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